It must be that time of year again. The endless emails of fake opportunities and false hopes for artists, seems to have no expiration date. Hey artists, did you know if only appear in x, y, and z- all your problems will disappear? Unfortunately, if it’s too good to be true with a fee and small print, run as fast as you can.
Here’s an example of one offender that has been emailing artists relentlessly for years (please take note: my commentary is in bold):
“Dear Artist (Dear Jenny, Dear Balisle, Dear E., or Dear__),
The International Selection Committee (who the hell is this?) of the Vanity Venue have given their approval (now that you have given approval of my art- so happy that I can live another day) to your artistic production and, for this reason, would like to extend the opportunity to take part in the an EXHIBITION THAT WILL MAKE YOU FAMOUS that will be held in the historic European tourist trap, from November 30th to December 8th 2013.
The EXHIBITION THAT WILL MAKE YOU FAMOUS is one of the largest events representing artists from around the world, with participants from 80 countries and more than 2500 works displayed (victims of diverse backgrounds from planet Earth and beyond). In the exhibition areas, that are energized by a myriad of events and performances, making it possible to admire a variety of styles, artistic trends and new frontiers of international contemporary art. Today the EXHIBITION THAT WILL MAKE YOU FAMOUS represents a (an) important moment in every Artist’s career (Yes, the realization that you have to pay to play), offering an opportunity to come into contact with other artists, critics and collectors from all over the world.
In 2001 the EXHIBITION THAT WILL MAKE YOU FAMOUS became an official Partner in the United Nations’ “Dialogue Among Civilizations” program which aims to promote dialogue between peoples of diverse cultures through artistic expression.
The I’m Special Award was launched at the first EXHIBITION THAT WILL MAKE YOU FAMOUS in 1997. At every edition this award celebrates the career achievements of top international artists. The last edition of the EXHIBITION THAT WILL MAKE YOU FAMOUS had the honor of hosting the fashion designer and stylist (Someone that no artist could afford) and the great maestro (Place name here that no one has ever heard of) who received the I’m Special Award. At previous editions the award has been presented to artists such as (list names of famous artists that don’t have to pay to exhibit because you lowly no name artists paid the bill).
The prestigious I’m Special Award is presented during an official ceremony to participating artists considered to be particularly praiseworthy by the Members of the International Jury, made up of eminent figures on the international art and culture scene (who the hell are these people?).
WARNING PUNCH LINE: The exhibition doesn’t receive any public neither private financial assistance. The exhibition is entirely funded by artists, that can search for sponsors independently in their own country (what are these people smoking?). To those possible sponsors indicated by artists, Vanity Venue will provide to send a formal request (for more money). Sponsors (Suckers with money) will be published both in the general catalogue and the website, as you can see by visiting the sponsor’s page present in our website, that helped some artists in the past EXHIBITIONS THAT WILL MAKE YOU FAMOUS.
We look forward to hearing from you. Please reply to this mail address: email@example.com. For any further information about the next edition, please contact our Organization Team (sales reps).
Vanity Venue Team
After investigating the above opportunity’s “participation” papers, the money squeeze on artists is appalling. To showcase a creative talent, this is what an artist will have to pay:
- 2.722,50 in Euros ($3561.03) just to participate.
- Artist has to pay for shipping to and from an exhibit located in Europe (not a 30 minute drive from home). Let’s say the crate would cost $1000 and shipping to and from $2500 including taxes/insurance. Total: $3500.
- Artist is responsible of setting up/taking down the works at the exhibit. As a result, you have to be present or hire someone/stranger (BTW, the EXHIBITION THAT WILL MAKE YOU FAMOUS has a list). Estimate to hire someone $500. If you have to fly to install (make sure the art doesn’t get destroyed) with hotels, transportation, and food: $3000. Total: $3000
The Grand Total: $10,061.03
Does paying to play make an artist famous? No, it just drains a bank account and self-esteem. However, the EXHIBITION THAT WILL MAKE YOU FAMOUS will continue to find new victims and send phony, and insincere emails year after year, after year…