A time warp...
A time warp...

After typing the word “resolutions” in a Google search, I was surprised that the government had a list of 13 Popular New Year’s Resolutions with links to resources.  When did the United States government start getting involved in New Year’s resolutions?

On the top of their list is Drink Less Alcohol.  Ok, I can understand that but I enjoy a glass of wine every now and then.  It really helps with coping with my high student loan debt, inflated house payments, and wondering if the economy will stabilize or continue to fall off a cliff.  My booze budget includes Two Buck Chuck (Yes, it only costs $2 and it’s made by Charles Shaw) and for special occasions anything under $6 a bottle will do.

Eat Healthy Food ranks number two.  It would be refreshing for the federal government to mandate healthy choices in schools.  Remove all vending machines (no soda, candy bars, or chips) and “teach” students how to eat well would be a positive start.  I remember watching Jamie Oliver’s FOOD REVOLUTION television show, he tried very hard to get healthy food into schools only to discover that red tape and fear of change kept good food options away from kids.

Get a Better Education is next on the list.  Well, I did that and will be paying a hefty payment for the next 23 years, which is equivalent to what my Midwestern parents paid monthly for their home.  Now that’s the American dream!  My student loans are more than the current value of their spacious Wisconsin abode located in an area with fabulous schools.

Of course Get a Better Job makes the list.  That’s so easy to do during this wonderful economy!  Many jobs exist that pay a fair living wage, give health benefits, pay on time, acknowledge your existence, pay for extra hours worked, and reward workers with a holiday bonus (warning: cynicism overload).  Maybe if the government starting working for the American people and not corporations that would be a positive sign for change.  Here’s a thought: I would like to see our government do a better job and stop working for special interests…

Don’t forget to Get Fit!  Believe me, I’m exercising everyday and trying to make the best choices eating.  So the next resolution on the list is to Lose Weight.  Ok Mr. or Mrs. Government I’m getting the message and doing the best I can!

Let me get this straight, the government is now telling me to Manage Debt.  Ever hear the old saying: if you’re going to talk the talk, you better walk the walk?  Maybe the government should stop committing to wars we can’t afford and corporate welfare.  Pay your fair share companies!  Offshore accounts were so last year.  Accountability and paying your taxes is so patriotic and 2012.  Anyways, we’re building schools and roads in other parts of the world when we should be doing that right here.  Ever take a drive through some of our toughest and poorest neighborhoods in America?  You don’t have to leave the states to see schools that look like they belong in a war zone….

Manage Stress creeps up onto the list.  Meditation isn’t working when the monthly bills arrive.  Maybe if I just close my eyes, it will all just disappear and go away.  Too bad reality has to step back in!

Quit Smoking seems logical to me.  It’s expensive and causes cancer.  The cost of one pack of cigarettes is close to one hour worked at minimum wage after taxes.  Plus, I want my dollars to go to something more “positive” like bills.  However living in California, I couldn’t help but ask the government to please be more specific on what exactly they want Americans to quit smoking…

Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle is fun and easy.  With the downturn in the economy, I have less money to buy, have to reuse what I have, and recycle my jokes.  From the lack of oversight on BP’s Gulf of Mexico oil spill disaster to the energy expanded for wars, the government undoubtedly has the authority to tell me how to reduce, reuse, and recycle.

Save Money….well duh!  My husband and I have been trying to do that since the day we were born.

Take a Trip is next on the list but didn’t the government just tell me to Save Money?  Please make up your mind, do you want to spend money to stimulate the economy or save money to pay my bills?

Volunteer to Help Others is the last resolution however I’m so busy working to pay off my better education to get a better job so I can have more time to get fit, lose weight, drink less alcohol, and not smoke in order to save money to eat healthy food which would help manage stress and with some luck be able to take a trip  (I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii) and manage debt by reducing, reusing, and recycling my entire existence.  That sounded stressful and I barely said it in one breath!

I’ll keep it simple by having only one resolution and that is to survive the New Year…

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